one hundred. twenty five.

she & him concert: 7 days.

leave for camp: 12 days.

shopping for camp done: none.

packing for camp done: none.

days left of work: 4 [this is indeed bittersweet. i love my job.]

i have decided to no longer say that i'm going to do something. when i say that i am going to do something, it never actually happens. instead, i will wait until after i do something & then simply announce that i did it. or not. just keep it a secret. or just tell you.

for instance:

said that i would go to ireland.

said that i would get my nose pierced.

said that i would be married by 19.

never ever happened.

maybe if i don't speak them aloud, they'll happen.

one hundred. twenty four.

tell me your secrets & ask me your questions

oh let's go back to the start

running in circles, coming up tails

heads on a science apart

nobody said it was easy

it's such a shame for us to part

nobody said it was easy

no one ever said it would be this hard

[oh take me back to the start]

one hundred. twenty three.

this post has a good title.
123
good number.
brings to mind classic Michael Jackson songs.

today I did no driving but felt very compelled to.
sometimes i'll be driving on the highway
or tollway
or any road, really
and just feel the urge to not stop
or not turn to get to my destination
but to just keep going.
this urge is, at times, weak.
more of a whimsical thought, really.
at times it is stronger
most strong.
my hands tingle a little.
i might just do it.
[but I never follow through].
today it was a screaming command
blaring in my head
so much so that if i did
i might very well be headed straight for Tennessee right now
with no intention of coming back soon.
that's exactly where i wanted to go, too.
it was just one of those days.
a driving day.
a crazy day, really.
i just wanted to do something crazy.
after I pushed driving to Tennessee from my mind I contemplated getting my nose pierced.
Nope. Too scared to do it alone.
When I ran out of crazy ideas that I won't do but want to
I put my jogging clothes on
& did something super crazy.
Ran a whopping 2 miles
came home
worked out some more.
Look out, this girl is completely bonkers.

So, it's 8:00 now
I made some cookies
Put on a flannel
[wishing I was 6 hours closer to Tennessee.]

one hundred. twenty two.

Most Monday mornings I ask customers how their weekend was.

All of the senior citizen customer interpret that question to have a hidden meaning of "Please inform me of all the pains afflicting your body."

Oh. And they do.

Will that be me one day?

There are many good things in life.

One of them is definitely singing "In My Place" the live 2003 version while driving with the sun roof open.

Thanks to my musical theater upbringing, I have swallowed the idea of "If you can't find words to express yourself, sing about it." It's quite vexing because for the first time I am finding myself without a song to channel my emotions through. At happy or trying or pensive or funny times of my life - a song. I've found a song. Very perplexing to be a in a place with no song.

Then, i was singing "In My Place" and found it pretty fitting. So that's it. For now.

What else?

I feel a little bit like the disciples in the boat, the storm raging around. Not enough faith so I'm a little frightened. There is a plan & reason, it's just outside my line of sight.

[please, calm this storm.]

Plenty of things to look forward to:

free she & him concert

the 5k [yes!!]

a wedding

blissful weeks up at camp

I just finished reading Brave New World & just started Amusing Ourselves To Death, which is a fantastic book pairing to read one right after the other. To say that it was interesting would barely begin to describe my thoughts. There is honestly just too much to take in & muddle over. I did read Brave New World once in the past but this read through showed some startling comparisons to the society in the book & to our own. That's basically what Amusing Ourselves to Death is about as well, kind of asking the question - What if Huxley was right? Fascinating.

It's time for a mid-afternoon bowl of cereal. I love cereal.

I really need to update this more....