twenty.three.

Tonight I feel a little low and broken.
It's just tonight, sort of an avalanche of things and I got all twisted up inside of them, and now I feel like the people who get caught underneath an avalanche and can't tell up from down, arms from legs.

2 nights ago i had some sad dreams and woke up crying. it's such an odd feeling, relief because it's not true, but these dream fragments hang on like cobwebs and i couldn't completely shake them off yesterday or today. dreams are funny like that. sometimes hard to forget.
today our car broke down. it'll survive. we're just stranded at CLA until the tow truck finds some free time, and that's where i'm at now.

it's late and i'm tired and all of a sudden every issue seems large and foreboding and insurmountable.
sometimes i have problems with trusting.
and patience.
like now.
i've always had this independent streak, and now i just want to go out... figure things out.
be wrong and be right and seek God and wisdom and work and school.
that's where i'm at now.
tonight.
sometimes i get tired of hearing how awful our culture is, what terrible places we're going to...
i'm having a hard time finding hope.
tonight.

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

i debate with myself about entries such as this.
sometimes i stumble.
i think that's important to write about as much as polka-dot galoshes.

-christina