sixteen

there's something kind of neat about an English accent. especially when i'm pretending to have one.

Christmas is over, sadly enough. It came as quite a surprise this year, I feel like I was hardly able to say hello before I started cleaning up wrapping paper. If this were a real live journal, and I was somewhere between 10 and 16 years old, I would list every single thing I got for Christmas. However, this is not, and I am not. I will say that I have a lovely ring on my finger now. and also a cookbook because apparently a good woman knows those things. I've flipped through the book and made some good intentions. stuffed mushrooms anyone?

Just now, I realized I do not have "Hey Jude" on my mp3 player. I have a version from the Across the Universe soundtrack, but it's not the Beatles. How did that happen? This is very perplexing.

My sister was living in hell a few days ago, perhaps figuratively. She had cut out the word HELLO in construction paper and hung it on her wall a while back [don't ask me why, she said she just wanted to spice up the space. what?]. Well, soon after hanging it up she decided to need the paper from the O to make something else. Not the H, or an L since she has two. No. So for several weeks it said HELL right above her bed. Did she notice? Ha. I made mention about a week ago, but it didn't finally come down until today.

Today we cleaned so much. This cleaning has been long past due. You think you're messy? You probably are, but let me tell you, so am I. So I cleaned a lot today. I realized that I have a decent amount of books, and waaayy to many old spiral notebooks with half-written songs and letters and stories in them. If I said about 25 of them I might be getting close, who knows? Did I throw away any of them? No. However, I did toss a huge black bag's worth of old cloth scraps and shirts and pants that I planned on turning into really creative outfits. That's something. I also got rid of some shoes.
I found some interesting tidbits today, as well. That tends to happen, I suppose, when you pack and pack and pack and then finally get around to cleaning stuff out. Some bittersweet, some really hilarious, some very odd. I found a game of M.A.S.H. that my sister and I had done. You know that game? Deciding the future of hopeful young girls? This particular one was probably a few years old. Instead of M.A.S.H. we called it F.A.R.T. [farmhouse, apartment, ranch, townhouse]. Haha, right? I'm sure we thought we were really really witty. SO glad I was home schooled. Anyhow, I ended up marrying... wait for it.. Kip from Napoleon Dynamite. We lived happily in a townhouse in Argentina, with his black jeep and my tie-dye semi and our 5 children. Don't get jealous.

I wrote a little today. And played the piano. At first I didn't know what I was going to do with myself for winter break, but I am managing really well. Went for a run this morning as well, and then all the cleaning, writing and piano. That's alright. Running when it's snowing is a little frustrating because I couldn't see, but also kind of nice. Really quiet.
Have I given up on jetman? No. Not a chance.

Oh! Watched a family video on Christmas Eve with my cousins, it was from some years back. Was I a fashion statement? You better believe it. High-rise jeans, probably around my rib cage. Huge through the waist/hips and then the tapered ankle, I know you know what I'm talking about. I tucked in my adult large t-shirt into my jeans. Low ponytail with the heavy bangs. So funny seeing it, I know exactly what I was thinking then. Despite the fact that I had a lisp [though I was probably still unaware to that] and didn't know how to work my knees and elbows because I was so gangly, I thought I was as cool as it got. Words cannot even describe...

i think that i'll just wait. when you hear "all my life" by Rosie Thomas and then right after hear "all the way" by Frank Sinatra, you can't help but be alright, if hopeful.

I'm like John Keats. His last words in his last letter:
"I can scarcely bid you goodbye even in a letter. I always made an awkward bow. God bless you! John Keats"

i can't ever figure out how to leave, even here. i always make an awkward bow.

God Bless You...
-Christina

fifteen

a little lonely.

i was just sitting in the Avante building, eating my single serving of clam chowder soup and listening to my music when "Fix you" by Coldplay came on.
It was a sad moment.
One of those moments where you wish someone was sitting next to you, eating a single serving of clam chowder soup. or maybe sharing yours.

I don't get lonely very often. Hardly ever. Usually I don't mind being by myself, and sometimes I prefer it.
It got better then. The woman who works at the cafeteria in the Avante building walked by, and I noticed she was wearing Coach shoes, and she was talking about how she really wanted a Coach purse for Christmas.
Earlier she had given me a free spoon. I like her.

I saw The Hudson Branch last night. They were really good, but maybe that was also because they were a nice indie sound sandwiched between two crazy screamer bands. It was quitequite refreshing. It was good to see friends there, too.

My last final is in a few hours, so I should go and run over that material. I'll miss that class too, as I am definitely missing my ASL 2 class that ended this morning. All my good classes end on the same day, dang it. Oh well, it ends the semester on a good note. I also have applesauce today [single serving as well], so there are good notes all around. I really love applesauce.

-christina

fourteen

I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music.
-George Eliot

This night is so much more lovely because of the fact that in one week this will be my last day at Harper College for this semester. I will miss a few things, I'm nerdy enough to admit that. I will miss this studious atmosphere. I will miss ASL 2. I will miss Hannah making me yummy sandwiches and our quick chats. Aaaannnddd, that about covers it for the moment. I am very much looking forward to sleep and nonstop jetman. =]

I was lucky enough to be awake and driving this morning, to be able to see the glory of ice-covered trees, with a soft pink sky just illuminating the branches. I hope you saw it. And tonight too, I love the shape of the moon tonight, that tiny crescent. You know how people ask you what color you would be, what flower, what tree? If I was a shape, I would be a crescent like the moon tonight.

I'm proud to say that I have kept up working out for the past few weeks. Look out.

For the moment, that is just about it. Just about...

-Christina

thirteen

thespacebarisbroken...

the.space.bar.is.broken.
well.this.is.rotten.luck.
i'll/work/with/it.

bought.a.new.hat.
so.freaking.awesome!
think:woodsman-meets-russian-maffia.

i-see-all-these-folks-around-harper-who-smoke.
iwouldhatetosmokeinthewinter.
it's/sodang/cold.
and-when-youneed-a-smoke
then.you.need.one.
evenif/it's/freezing.
this/one/girl/was
jumpingupanddown
vigorously
to.stay.warm
and smoke.
^youseethat^
the/space/worked/once!

finals-are-reallyreally-crazy.
ihad-a-theater-presentation-today.
ihatepublicspeaking.
somuch.
anyhow,i-spoke-for-8minutes-when-i-should-have-stopped-at-5.
ijust/had/alot/to/say.
iblushed.
somuch.

"there'sanairplaneinthesky..."

i.love.music.

signed/up/for/classes/for/next/semester.
it/shouldbe/reallygood.
soexcited/for/danceclasses.
two!
.i'llbeinstellarshape.
but.that's.what.ialways.say.
i/guess/this/time/i/willhavetobe.
i'm/getting/graded/on/myperformance.

crappykeyboard.the.right.arrow.isbroken.too.

"somuchforloveiguess...."
"i'm.gonna.drive.through.the.hills.putmyhand.outthewindow.andsing.till.i.run.outof.words."

guitartabs=verycomplicated.
granted.i-don't-know-how-to-play.
but-i-figured-i-could-just-checkout-some-tabs-and-be-able-to-pick-out-something.
no.

haha.this.isfunny.toreadover.
randomstops.
andrushes.
anyhow.
ishouldgostudy.for.finals.
you.should.countthecolors.

-christina

twelve

i wore my hippie hat today, so now my head itches violently.

i just got out of art class about 9 hours early. we didn't have class last week, and this week my art professor comes in and tells us it's because his mother died. he was so broken up, it was so sad. and then he is also sick because of all the stress of the burial, so we didn't have much of a class today, and we aren't having class next week. he's giving us full credit for the final and for the two quizzes we didn't have. it's all very bittersweet. i'd like to feel some joy out of no classes, but every time i do i feel immense guilt, like i'm thanking God that his mother died.

i've been thinking about england lately.
my heart is still in ireland, mind you.
but with all of this literature that i've been reading and the lives i am learning about, england is sounding fairly fascinating as well.
i just think england should be moved up a little higher on my list of places to visit.
plus, i love the young boys choirs. it gives me such chills. more than any other choir, almost, i think.
so... that's another reason.
they are really just stacking up, the reasons are.
here's another:
i speak English.
so... no language barrier there.

"Have you seen my love" by Rosie Thomas is really quitequite lovely.

anyhow, i have crackers and cheese to eat, matters to attend to.
i wonder what motivates you?

-christina