one hundred. forty one.

My brother is moving out of his apartment. My sister & I cleaned it for him after he got his stuff out of there.

Signs you are cleaning a bachelor pad:
There is mold in the coffee maker.
There is no food in the fridge except for eggs that expired in July and a random condiment.
There is nothing in the freezer except for 3 bags of cigars.
Oven is very clean, probably because a bachelor doesn't need to cook his protein powder in the oven.
Cleaning products are completely full. Odor eliminator spray, however, is nearly empty.
Laundry detergent completely full. Odor eliminator acts as clothes freshener as well!

So. That was a grimy 2 hours of cleaning.

one hundred. forty.

you make me want to wear dresses
& wear my hair down.
so let's throw our hands out the window
& drive out of this town.

[see that, i rhymed down with town.
that's called poetry, kids.]

i keep listening to wedding day by rosie thomas and applying it to my life.
I'M going to be carefree & let nothing pass me by never ever again.
I don't have cheap cigarettes in my car
but I'm going to drive under skyline & sunshine
drink good wine in vineyards
& get asked to dance.
it's gonna be so grand.

speaking of driving & cars
I'VE FINALLY FOUND ONE.
actually, it was completely an answer to prayer because while my mom & i were sitting in the coffee shop talking about the struggle to find a car, a customer came up and told me that she was planning on selling her 98 Honda Civic but had not gotten around to it yet. Fast forward a few days and a good review from my mechanic, she accepted my low offer - BOOM BAM. this girl has got a car.
well, tomorrow i will, when she signs it over to me.
beautiful things happen in the coffee shop.
now my mom won't have to wake up at 4:45a.m. to drive to me work every morning.
[sorry mom.]

I've been reading "My Utmost For His Highest" pretty much every day, enjoying it thoroughly. It's very revealing of my misconceptions & preconceived notions regarding my life as Christian and what is expected of me. At the base, it's so much simpler than I allow, but in that it's quite difficult.
I've decided to take some time to read the Bible from cover to cover like I would eat up other books I read. I don't really eat up the Bible, but I'd like to. Usually I just push it around on my plate, count how many bites until the end, chew a morsel for some time. I'd like to stick it in my purse and read it not with the solemn presence of daily devotionals, but as a BOOK, not depreciating it's truth but taking time to appreciate language and history as I would with other books, get wrapped up in people & ideas & emotions. I've never taken time to just READ it without hunting for something or listlessly reading a daily dose, checking it off my list of things to do. You know? Maybe you don't know, but there it is.

there is a design
an alignment
a cry of my heart to see
the beauty of love as it was made to be.

one hundred. thirty nine.

[i wish that you could see what i see.
here.

take my eyes & see the world for a moment the way i do.
look at you the way that i look at you.
here.]

i love early mornings in the coffee shop.
how many times have i written that?
stop by & try my new favorite treat.
a soy latte with honey & real cinnamon swirled in the espresso.
yum. :]]
i spilled coffee all over my shoes today.
that's 3 pairs of shoes with coffee on them now.
a bit ridiculous.

i've been thinking about watches lately.
i've always been against watches
but now i'd really like a vintage watch.
i'm on the hunt for the perfect one.

ho-hum. off to knit.
& watch a movie where claire danes is autistic.
[claire is just such a friendly name.]
no, but seriously, kids, i'm going to knit.
don't try and stop me.

one hundred. thirty eight.

i have been getting into mumford & sons quite a bit.

at first i was just a poser.

"oh yeah, i LOVE them! great band. great music."

but really, i had barely heard anything about them. mostly i just liked the people who liked them. so i liked them too.

this got difficult when people asked me my favorite song.

"oh, i mean...all of them! right? they are just...so good. can't even decide."

anyhow, now i have moved past that. not that i have favorite song now because i really do like several of them most. their music & lyrics are grand.

i am an honest fan.

sometimes i have conversations with customers & it's almost like we are speaking different languages. I just find it very difficult to communicate with them. you know what i mean? have you ever had those people where you just can't talk to each other very well? someone is mumbling, or making references you don't understand but thought you did, everyone is confused...
such a conversation happened the other day:
[man comes up to counter for refill]
me: you need a refill?
him: yup. hey, i heard the breaking news in the mens bathroom! you're getting a lobster tail!
me: [wonders if i heard wrong when he said mens bathroom] Oh, really? I had no idea. I guess I'm out of the loop.
him: yup! that's what I heard! Lobster tail!
me: [fairly certain i did hear mens bathroom] Wow, well I guess I'll have to visit the mens bathroom more... often...[trails off]
him: [looks at me strangely. maybe he didn't say mens bathroom? gives dark, bitter laugh as if I just make a joke about the apocalypse.] No, not necessary. Not advised.
[Brief silence as I hand him his refilled coffee cup.]
Him: Yup, and it's going to go right there! [points vaguely in the direction of the wall]
Me: Oh! Very interesting! [I look in the direction he pointed at, thoroughly confused. Man goes & stands in front of television playing news. I sit & try to make sense of our conversation...did he say mens bathroom?]

I figured out later that he did indeed say mens bathroom. There is an ad in there for lobster mania. I still have no explanation for the rest of the conversation.

one hundred. thirty seven.

good things:

a solo dance party with a bottle of mousse as an impromptu microphone. [this will be] an everlasting love & make your own kind of music. the curtains were open. the neighbors may have been entertained.

the renegade craft fair in wicker park. inspiring.

italian food.

finishing my book!

starting "a walk in the woods" which is already brilliant.

buttons.

yellow shoes.

bad things:

my dog POOPING in the basement. a poop of massive proportions. terrible thing to wake up to.

::edit::

things i don't understand:

granny panties.

people who down shots of alcohol. why? let's be honest, it tastes terrible.

twitter. please explain this concept to me.

adult teeth coming in at age 22. stupid & unnecessary.

one hundred. thirty six.

time for a change tonight.
hair dye?
yes.

& oh,
i'd like to watch "A Beautiful Mind."
and read some books for the second time.
i'd like to see your face
read your mind
simple & plain
like words on a page.

one of those things happened at work today where i'm still laughing about it, but if i told you, you wouldn't think it was funny.
the guy who was getting his coffee didn't think it was funny either.
[which made it even more funny.]

do yourself a favor.
listen to "wedding day" [rosie thomas]
then "sigh no more" [mumford & sons]
followed by "warning sign" [coldplay]
ending with any jon foreman song of your choosing.
this is my playlist for today.
just some plain old good music.

one hundred. thirty five.

dear autumn,

hello. you seem to be making your way my way.
i must say that i'm delighted you've nearly arrived. i've just recently mowed the yard, so it's all ready for browned leaves to be tossed upon it.
i also used your nearness to buy myself a new pair of boots.
let me know if there is anything i can do to make you feel more welcome & please do linger for as long as you can. i've missed your friendly face, probably ever since you last left.
don't tell the others, but you truly are my favorite.

yours most sincerely,

christina.