12.23.2011

two hundred. five.

I'd like to live a while longer in these last 2 weeks.
Go back and do it again.
Several times.
Oh, the people, places & things.
The past two days I've found myself driving home from work smiling because I simply feel quite content and blessed.
Truly grand to walk into a chilly building at a brisk 5:30 a.m., crank up the heat, turn on Matthew and the Atlas "Come out of the Woods" and pull shots of espresso.
Then grand to switch to the Frank Sinatra and Michael Buble singing Christmas songs and chatting with customers about all sorts of things. It's been a fine time at work.

Outside of work too.
Seeing movies with family, cooking, cleaning, organizing, shopping, wrapping, warm naps.
Dates with pappy, wine, eggnog,
There is much to be grateful for.

If you're looking for beautiful things, hunt around the Kinfolk Magazine website. I downloaded some free music and saw some nice pictures. kinfolkmag.com
I also deepened my desire for small, simple gatherings with close friends. Let's do it. You can ride over on your bicycle with the basket since we haven't had a snow yet. Just bundle up, bring some stories, a candle and some good hard cider. We'll make merry.

12.09.2011

two hundred. four.

I saw an old man on a bicycle, peddling down the sidewalk, disappearing as my car passed him. He was wearing a cap and singing a song, and for some reason it just struck me as something sort of extraordinary. 
Every day things are strange and wonderful. We've grown so accustomed to the extraordinary that we no longer are awed.
I wish things were still a mystery.
I still long to stare at things and wonder.
I think some of my favorite things – my favorite songs, poems, words, pictures – are an implication. Just a nod.
A nod in a direction, and if you tried too hard to grab on to it and bring it into the light so that you could see it quite clearly, it would swiftly flee. It lends itself to understanding that what remains unsaid are powerful words. 
There are some things you must let others see for themselves without telling them how to see it.

Every Friday I see my Friday customers and I always am shocked to find myself at the end of the week again. Never fails. Even though things are fast-paced in life & work I'm enjoying the cozy Christmas-y moments whenever I can grab them. Rosie Thomas is singing holiday tunes right now and it's lovelylovelylovely.  I've decorated at work a good deal including make some hand-crafted snowflakes & paper chains [we do love our paper crafts]. I've been doing some knitting/crocheting/sewing [until my machine pooped out on me]. 

I'm thinking these days of words that start with T.
tethered & tension. 
it makes sense. 


Yesterday I saw a man in Walgreens.
He was older, dressed in an overcoat and wearing glasses. He looked like he had just gotten off work and was picking up something sweet and heart-shaped to bring home. Soft, jazzy Christmas music played in the background and he stared at the chocolates as I passed him the first time and then as I passed him again to go pay. 
He had stopped thinking about the chocolates and was maybe thinking about who he was getting the chocolates for, or maybe why he was bringing them. 
Or maybe he was just thinking about work, the day behind him.
Regardless, when we left he had stepped up to the counter to pay - no chocolates in his hand.
People make you wonder, don't they?

11.30.2011

two hundred. three.



Finally.
Four hours to spare! 
50,087 words!
[Technically I'm not a winner because I didn't follow the exact guidelines. However, they say everyone is a winner. I'll buy into that, thanks.]
So looking forward to a bottle of wine tonight and making donuts tomorrow to celebrate. 

11.28.2011

two hundred. two.

Only 3 days left of Nanowrimo (counting this evening).
Maintaining sanity by:
-Using Eggo waffles as a reward.
-Using the S. Carey/Hudson Branch concert this weekend as a reward.
-Taking sporadic dance party breaks.
-Planning various knitting/craft/cooking projects for December
-Anticipating having friends again.

[Just over 10,000 words to go.]

going to keep plugging away...


11.10.2011

two hundred. one.

A quick update before jumping back out.
George Eliot said: "Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns."

I can't help but feel the same. I should read more George Eliot because she also this about music: "I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music."

Recently it would be:
  Chris & Thomas.
    City and Colour
       The Avett Brothers [always]
          S. Carey
             Sufjan Stevens

We share some common thoughts, George Eliot and I.
It's like a secret thread.

Have you read that quote? I absolutely love it [do read it all]:
“You may have noticed that the books you really love are bound together by a secret thread. You know very well what is the common quality that makes you love them, though you cannot put it into words: but most of your friends do not see it at all, and often wonder why, liking this, you should also like that. Again, you have stood before some landscape, which seems to embody what you have been looking for all your life; and then turned to the friend at your side who appears to be seeing what you saw -- but at the first words a gulf yawns between you, and you realise that this landscape means something totally different to him, that he is pursuing an alien vision and cares nothing for the ineffable suggestion by which you are transported. Even in your hobbies, has there not always been some secret attraction which the others are curiously ignorant of -- something, not to be identified with, but always on the verge of breaking through, the smell of cut wood in the workshop or the clap-clap of water against the boat's side? Are not all lifelong friendships born at the moment when at last you meet another human being who has some inkling (but faint and uncertain even in the best) of that something which you were born desiring, and which, beneath the flux of other desires and in all the momentary silences between the louder passions, night and day, year by year, from childhood to old age, you are looking for, watching for, listening for? You have never had it. All the things that have ever deeply possessed your soul have been but hints of it -- tantalising glimpses, promises never quite fulfilled, echoes that died away just as they caught your ear. But if it should really become manifest -- if there ever came an echo that did not die away but swelled into the sound itself -- you would know it. Beyond all possibility of doubt you would say "Here at last is the thing I was made for". We cannot tell each other about it. It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want, the thing we desired before we met our wives or made our friends or chose our work, and which we shall still desire on our deathbeds, when the mind no longer knows wife or friend or work. While we are, this is. If we lose this, we lose all.”
When I'm not writing copiously I am reading too. I just finished "Crazy for God" and well on my way through Tim Keller's new marriage book, just for kicks.

And I made this:


Clearly, super pumped about it. It's a headband, in case there is any confusion from my poor quality webcam.
All in all, a productive first ten days of November. I'm a little behind in nanowrimo but I'll catch up.
Anyhow, this seems like just a pretend post because the majority of the words were not my own.

10.27.2011

Two Hundred.

This will probably be the last blog post for a while.
In preparation of really sitting down and writing for a month [providing my follow through is the best it ever has been. agh.], I've been trying to squeeze in a bunch this week.
This evening I finally sliced up the 300 pound zucchini we've had sitting on our table for forever, donned an apron and made 6 loaves of bread with it.
Surprise, there is enough zucchini left to still feed a small country.
I told Taylor to maybe plant a few less next year.
Just a few.

I also turned some sweaters into these infinity scarves I saw online a few days ago. Sew some sweater sleeves together...boom. Infinity scarf. That was delightfully easy for my brain. At times I ponder at great length over sewing instructions, so fortunately this was a breeze.
Note: I just spelled breeze "brease."
Past my bedtime.

Last night I started making this delightful fish dish that turned freaking fantastic.
Initially though, Sheffield, that loathsome creature, decided to hop on the table and eat four pieces of the fish while I was out of the room for literally 90 seconds.
Or less.
Needless to say I was quite angry.
However, it all turned out just dandy, if an hour later than expected so we could defrost more fish.

Early this week one of our favorite customers passed away. He'd been sick for a while, although initially it had come out of nowhere.
He used to read his epic poems at open mic night. He had large, wise eyes and a white mustache, always the friendliest and kindest man, moving tables at the end of the night for us.
After we found out, we drank a cup of Moroccan mint tea with lots of honey for him.

This weekend I'll be celebrating Lauren being off chemo [huzzah!!], helping host a Breast Cancer Fundraiser and attending a wedding.
I might sleep a little somewhere.

This morning I had a chocolate chip cookie for breakfast.
Oh.
It was good.

10.20.2011

one hundred. ninety nine.

So. Hit a deer a few days ago.
I'm driving and I see one on my right
So I slow down and keep an eye on him
and don't even see his buddy leap in front of my car from the left.
[in all reality, this might be a case of the deer hitting me.]

I thought my car was trashed because it was 3:45 in the morning on my way to work and everything looked grim and terrible, but it was able to get fixed. The hood is still in terrible shape.

My Dad told me at least now I won't be picking up guys in that car.
Drat.
I spent so much time doing that before, it's going to completely alter my life.
I told that to the cook next door and he confirmed.
"You see a girl in a car like that, you stay away. She's crazy, hitting things like that."
Thanks Fernando.
Not the first time he's called me crazy.
He told me that if it had been on the side that would have been cool. Cool girls race their friends and hit the curb, causing minimal damage.
Crazy girls ram a deer head on and keep driving that car, busted hood and all.
Good to know where I land on the cool vs. crazy scale. Totally bonkers.

Been playing through my "Ukulele For Dummies" book. Great fun.
I also just finished knitting the best hat ever.
Me.
Knitting a hat.
It's like I just finished climbing a mountain. I am victorious.

Speaking of climbing, I also just booked a weekend trip in the Ozarks next April with the lovely engaged couple and Tai. Bopping around, camping, climbing.
And I signed up for NANOWRIMO i.e. national novel writing month. November will be interesting, that's for sure. You will probably never hear from me. I don't know if anyone will ever hear from me.
So many things that I'm doing.
Often I end up feeling like I'm not doing enough.
There is so much more that I'd like to reach out my fingers and hold on to.



10.14.2011

one hundred. ninety eight.

Lately I've been thinking about the things we lose when we gain convenience.
I don't think my fascination with things old are just because i like old things, i think we have a longing for things that are lost when words that define what we are looking for are:
streamlined or
efficient or
consistent or
convenient.
you know?

Yesterday Nors and I saw Ben Rector.
Absolute genius.
That's a talented man in a bow tie.
Such fun times in the city, getting a bit lost and arriving a bit late.
On the way home, to make up for it, we played the game of never stopping for a red light.
Not to say we blazed through the red lights.
But when we came upon one we'd creep as slowly as possible to avoid stopping the car but still staying roughly behind the line.
Hilarious at 1 in the morning.
This morning we woke up and lazed about before making a massive dutch apple pancake and devouring nearly all 4 servings of it.

The puppies are asleep, snoring and snuffling.
About to head out to the creperie to meet up with Pappy.
It's been a completely unproductive day.
Most lovely.

Anyone up for climbing around the Ozarks with me?

10.10.2011

one hundred. ninety seven.

Randomly stumbled across this photo today:


No, I did not spend the next several minutes searching images of Michael Caine. 
No, I don't have a mini-crush.
Not at all. 

10.09.2011

one hundred. ninety six.

If you've read this blog for any time at all, really, you'll know that I talk about simplicity, long for simplicity, try and live simply to a certain extent.
I read this quote recently by Shane Claiborne and it made me think about the motivation behind my desire:

"When we talk of materialism and simplicity, we must always begin with the love for God and neighbor, otherwise we're operating out of little more than legalistic, guilt-ridden self-righteousness. Our simplicity is not an ascetic denunciation of material things to attain personal piety, for if we sell all that we have and give it to the poor, but have not love, it is meaningless (1 Cor. 13:3). And there are many progressive liberals who have taught me that we can live lives of disciplined simplicity and still be distant from the poor. We can eat organic, have a common pool of money, and still be enslaved to Mammon. Rather than being bound up by how much stuff we need to buy, we can get enslaved to how simply we must live.
Simplicity is meaningful only inasmuch as it is grounded in love, authentic relationships, and interdependence."

Sometimes I think I enjoy simplicity only for the sake of simplicity, for the sake of something more "peaceful" instead of looking at it through the eyes of scripture, beginning it with my love for God and neighbor.

On a final note, I enjoyed this today from Oswald Chambers:

"The Redemption of Christ is not an experience, it is the great act of God which He has performed through Christ, and I have to build my faith upon it. If I construct my faith on my experience, I produce that most unscriptural type, an isolated life, my eyes fixed on my own whiteness. Beware the piety that has no pre-supposition in the Atonement of the Lord."

10.06.2011

one hundred. ninety five.

Baked an apple pie and am listening to Laura Marling.
Well, it's still baking. We'll see if ends up tasting anything like an apple pie.
I'm certain it won't look like one.
Guess who gives up when confronted with a crust?
This girl.
So, botched the crust, but the filling looks yummy.
You win some, you lose some.

We have a new dog. His name is Sheffield.
He's a puggle.
His bottom teeth stick out so he always looks tough/absurd.
Unless he's sleeping.
Remember that one time I fell asleep on the beach and started nose whistling? Sheffield does that all the time when he's sleeping. Either that or an exaggerated snorting snore. Which is awesome because it's not like my biggest pet peeve is nose breathers.
[Oh wait, it definitely is.]
Such a peaceful pup.
He also makes a lot of noise when he's just standing in one place.
Apparently breathing is a challenge for this dog.
He's quite the character, though, and after hating him for the first 30 hours, I'm a little in love with him.

One funny thing about Sheffield is that he is the least subtle creature.
Kanoa is big, so she can be subtle about things. Stealing food from the table means just inching closer very slowly until she can rest her head on the table and slyly steal your bread without you noticing.
Sheffield just has to commit and act fast. He's too short for subtle.
He's sees food.
He leaps
grabs
and runs.
Pretty hilarious.

Pie update: Smells great, looks wretched.

I know I wrote a post ages ago about bathroom etiquette. I'd like to revisit that oh-so-briefly.
In addition to knocking on every bathroom door you intend to enter
another good habit to practice would be hanging up your phone before you pop in to the stall next to me.
Or any stall, really.
Or the bathroom at all. Just hang up. Call them back.
Or hold it.
Pick one.
Thanks much.

9.26.2011

one hundred. ninety four.

& it's true
my branches they turn to you
asking you, do you love me too?


^it resonates and i am struck like a drum. still humming.
I like Alessi's Ark.
And Laura Marling.
I saw them in concert on Thursday and it was just so lovely, so much talent! So much british accent fun! Can't get enough.
I'll be going back to that space to see Ben Rector soon with Nors, which will be amazing.

Today I put all my summer clothes in boxes and brought out my sweaters.
Good riddance!
Ready for this lovely lovely weather. I didn't even mind the rain today, just bundled up and wore my summer shoes for the last time. In the box they go! Huzzah!
Rosie Thomas is perfect for rainy mornings, so I listened to her very early on the way to work.
One of her Christmas songs randomly played and I was filled with an inexpressible flash of Christmas joy. Nearly bawled like a crazy person briefly, but I kept it together.
Apparently we'll be having more rain these next few days.
This gives you a nice opportunity to turn on some Rosie. Take advantage of it.

I keep a notebook by my bed and I've been scribbling in it nightly.
It's either genius or rubbish.
I see no middle ground.
There rarely is, I suppose.
I usually find middle ground to be rubbish anyhow, because it's neither here nor there.

Sarah colored my hair red over the weekend.
That girl.
I was thinking more of a subtle red, more brown than anything,
but she picked out a RED color.
So, we did it.
I'm grateful for the ways she pushes me.
[And I do mean in other ways besides coloring my hair.]
She's an excellent friend to have around.
We have some adventures.
We also have some wine.

Anyhow.
More than anything I feel like going for a bike ride.
You game?
Tomorrow then, we'll be off, rain or shine.
We'll bring our umbrellas and hot chocolate in a thermos.

9.20.2011

one hundred. ninety three.

::Visual interest post::

I could ramble on & on about work. 
So here are things not work related.

Decided to clean up my crafty yarn area [a total wreck] & i found this sort of lopsided piece.

Rather than finishing my cleaning, I did this.

Sidenote: for some reason I think grey on grey is hilarious. I always chuckle a little to myself. I also realize that it's unusually flattering pairing a cardigan with sweatpants. 

I also did this. Completely unoriginal. Found it on a blog. Loved it. Copied it.

Another one.

My mom commented that I should put up family pictures instead of random people I don't know from ages ago. 
However, I like random people I don't know.

I have also been making friends with this machine. Although seemingly idiot proof, I have a knack for getting lost in the bobbins and bits. Such a patient, lovely machine though. Does most of the work. I'm taking a sewing e-course and made my first project without a hitch. Success!

One of my 4 suitcases of tricks. By "tricks" I mean random crap that is thrown in there with the hopes of creating something interesting. Most of it has been sitting there for eons, although that top layer is relatively new. 

My keys! Found them at the flea market. Had to have them.

Jolly fun. Laura Marling concert on Thursday which I am just wriggling with excitement over, followed by a weekend with Sarah.We plan on crafting, going to art shows and apple orchards and maybe making a batch of homemade chai. 
Have I mentioned that fall is my favorite?

9.12.2011

one hundred. ninety two.

When things get confusing, I often think of running.
Not necessarily away from
or towards
but just running.

I try to reach my hands out & hold on to too many different things
which gets confusing.
Plus
when you are holding on to things in all directions
you don't make very much progress in any of them.
you know?

There was a weary man in the shop the other day.
He lost his job.
His voice was chipper when he ordered his coffee
Oh,
he'll make do.
He'll get by.
He sat down in the leather chair to read his book.
Ahh.
Relaxation.
Unemployment isn't so bad.
But his eyes weren't reading.
they were watching
and staring.
He was focusing on everything
& nothing all at once.
I smiled at him on my way out the door.
He didn't smile back, lost in thought.
Middle-aged, alone and jobless.
This isn't how it's supposed to be.


She gets giddy when she thinks of him
when he calls
when he walks in the door.
He returns none of her affection
and shrugs off her touch.
When she is driving
she is sad.
she takes long drags off cheap cigarettes
smoothing her hopeful skirt
hopeful that he will for once take notice.
He doesn't.
One more cigarette while she waits for his call.
Young, spirited and lonely.
This isn't how it's supposed to be.


At times I am struck motionless and near thoughtless by the sheer, overcrowding JOY of life. Those moments hold too much, I am nearly lifted off the ground, they carry me.

Other times I am struck by the weight of things decidedly...askew. It can be unsettling. They catch me off-guard, like the man in the chair who suddenly seemed to be the saddest picture in this world, sadder than hungry children in Africa you see in those commercials.

When I end posts like this I often feel like I should end with something "Christian," like - "good thing I find my hope in the Lord." or some Bible verse or inspirational quote. And even though these are all very good and true, I don't want to use it as a band-aid. Some little affected tidbit.
I know, innately, where my hope lies. I recognize longings as restlessness searching for Him. I see that my desire to see things right is not chance and it's not my doing.
But I also know that not all thoughts end in Bible verses. It doesn't always seem genuine, or fitting, to close off as such. The weight needs to settle in a little. It makes the joy in the morning that much more joyful. Moments of grace are truer and more beautiful. This, I am thankful for.

9.07.2011

one hundred. ninety one.

I feel like the autumn is my spring. I feel reborn once cooler weather hits.
My steps are lighter, I drink warm soy chai and generally feel an overwhelming sense of joy.
It hasn't even been that cool, but when I leave for work at 5 a.m. it's nice and chilly.
Which has incidentally made me realize that the heat in my car doesn't work.
Sort of a killjoy, but I won't let it spoil my delight in busting out my fall boots and mittens.

I've been working my patookie off and dealing with fun customers who say things like:
"So, you know how to run a business, right?"
This is the same guy who makes us put cream cheese on his bagel for him as he stands there and fill us in on his wretched life. He used to be big. His cd was sold in Best Buy. What a hotshot.
Now he has a one gagillion square foot house all to himself. What a drag.

I've been trying to split my time up between doing "manager" things at work, doing fun customer stuff at work and getting my crafty-craft on to make the place more homey.
I am realizing very quickly how delicate this balance is.
Also, so enjoying it.
I put The Weepies and David Gray and The Head and the Heart on our coffee house playlist so I listen to good tunes while cutting out felt leaves.
Sometimes I can't believe how fortunate I am.

Yesterday I wrote a song about quilts while driving in the car and recorded it on my phone on the way home.
I think this means that I am anxious to test out my new sewing machine, but have been way too busy to touch it. It's sitting so hopeful on my desk.

Renegade craft fair on Saturday. Someone hide my wallet, please.

8.30.2011

one hundred. ninety.

I have been jamming to The Avett Brothers every morning on the way to work lately.
They are extremely fantastic.
For a long time I was never in the mood for anything Avett Brothers except the song "I and Love and You" but then I slowly started branching out with "The Ballad of Love and Hate" and "Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise." Now I'm just listening to them as a whole. Good stuff.

Today, Soy Latte Jason was telling me that I am the most random person he knows.
[I feel like this is a slow decline, because I used to be the most interesting person he knew.]
We were talking about how I went line dancing last week
& then how last night I couldn't decide between crocheting or making granola.
Apparently this is random to him, although for me it seems pretty natural. Also kind of a lame set of choices: nap, crochet or make granola. I love it.
I threw nap in there because honestly it's always an option.
I ended up making buckets of granola. Just buckets. I could feed a small army off of this fantastic granola. I mixed recipes from a book my mom had lying around and a recipe from this site: http://www.todaysletters.com/ [such a darling couple. to find the granola look under the recipes section.]

Hannah stopped in to visit me today. :]
So lovely to have visitors, brightened up my day.

Have I mentioned the most exciting news recently? Probably not, I always leave out the good stuff. Several weeks ago two of my favorite people got engaged.












I can't believe I'm only mentioning it now.
So looking forward to their wedding/having Steph around always.

8.25.2011

one hundred. eighty nine.

hello, responsibility.
Being the co-manager of a little independent coffee shop seems like it might be a chill atmosphere with that subtle coffee shop glamour, but this first week has just been absolutely mad.
It started with waking up at 3 for grease trap cleaning on monday and working an 11 hour day.
Nothing glamorous about 3 in the morning.
For the record, 3a.m. still counts as nighttime in my book.
Getting to work at 5:30 the other mornings: wonderful. Just before the sun rises.
So far this week we've been working on damage control from the previous manager as well as trying to get ahead of the game for fall/the holidays.
One day we'll get settled into the swing of things. We long for those days and we talk about how fun it's going to be when we can do little things like spend a night decorating for Christmas.
That time is not now. Now it's just crazy and I miss being stressed because I didn't get sandwiches prepped before the end of my shift.

Some good things: I just bought a ticket to Laura Marling & Alessi's Ark coming to Chicago. Yes, please. I want to see S. Carey in December too. Yes?
Went line dancing with some fine folks last night, which was a ball. I may not be the best at line dancing, but it's jolly good times anyhow.
I'm ready to start crocheting. I get so excited for fall every year, it makes me want to do all of my favorite things like read, write, sing, crochet, hibernate, lark about & bear hug.

8.21.2011

one hundred. eighty eight.

The documentary "Running Across the Sahara"
combined with the 50% off Patagonia sale has made me strongly desire to be an outdoor adventure kind of person.
If, someday, you find me hiking hundreds of miles, climbing mountains, kayaking or biking, this will have been the beginning.
Officially.
But really, how thrilling does that sound?

one hundred. eighty seven.

hello my whirlwind life.
just when things look as if they are heading one way
wa-bam
they head the other direction entirely.

so much to tell.
it would be better if we had hours and some coffee/tea with nutella on toast.
to sum up a small portion:

i went from long hair to this [i've wanted to for ages]:








sort of a crazy transition. the really strange part was when the hairstylist handed me my ponytail, hair and all. also the fact that my hairstylist was the wife of a boy i grew up with. small, small world.


also, i am now the co-manager of the coffee shop that i work at. initially, i was leaving that job and moving to another coffee shop as of last Friday, but everything took a sort of mad turn and ended up with me staying on as morning manager and the assistant manager moving to evening manager.
such things. such long stories.
in the middle of everything i took a glorious vacation to michigan with some of my favorite people ever, especially bonding with several lovely ladies that i think i will just adore for the rest of my life. rarely am i so moved, so challenged, sing so loud, dance so much, laugh so hard, feel so free as i do with these girls in that place.
now autumn is just around the corner & i'm welcoming it with open arms and so much hope.
hoping you are too.

8.01.2011

one hundred. eighty six.

Let's just have a brief conversation about how much fun the rodeo was.
[So fun.]
I've never been to anything quite like it, but it made me want to move out to some southern state with these people for neighbors.
Just a little bit.
Also, seeing all the little boy spectators running around with their trick ropes just reinforces my desire to have a pack of boys. Just heaps of them. Funny little boys, yes please.
I ended up not going to the city. Shall hit it up next time.

I'm actually typing this at my desk [splendid!] with a glass of cheap red wine, feeling quite sophisticated.
Our room is something like clean, so it makes it so much more enjoyable.
I am also listening to Bon Iver [what else is new?]. Enjoyable.
There is a certain sort of lovely about times like these.
"Times likes these" seems to be times where I feel like Winnie the Pooh.
That is literally the first thing I thought of.
I just want to to bear hug someone
and hum
and say things like:
"Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon."
Or:
"If you live to be 100, I hope to live to 100 minus 1 day, so that I never have to live without you."
Yes, I did just google Winnie the Pooh quotes to ensure that Winnie the Pooh was indeed what I was feeling like. After reading 6 pages of quotes, I can confirm it.
[& a bit hopeful. i feel like that old bear is a hopeful fellow.]

Just days until Michigan
& Michigan cherries
& Michigan dunes
Today a customer came in with a little container for us full of blueberries he picked just yesterday in Michigan.
quite delicious. I just love our customers.
This guy always comes in with another guy, and they sit and talk about football and how their wives are the exact same.
There is always some funny frustration in one or both of those topics.
Keeps us entertained.

I've been listening to a little bit of fitz & the tantrums, getting my groove on while I'm driving. I love free daytrotter sessions.

7.28.2011

one hundred. eighty five.

The internet has pooped out at our house, so I'm mooching off the internet at the coffee shop and listening to Frank Sinatra sing "My Kind of Town."
It's always rough to sit at work and try and get things done when I've clocked out because inevitably I start talking to customers who walk in. Or they start talking to me. Either way - it's not an effective plan if I want to get work done.

Speaking of coffee shops, my Dad & I went on a coffee shop tour in Wilmette/Evanston/Chicago a few days ago. That was super fantastic, plus I got to drink a ton of coffee and espresso. If you need coffee shop recommendations in those areas, I've got it covered. And take me with you.

The other day, at work, medium iced mocha Mike came in wearing a shirt and tie. He's usually a jeans and t-shirt guy, he drops his daughter off at daycare right before he comes, so I commented on how he looked dapper and asked him what he was up to.
In the most solemn fashion and with a straight face he said:
"I'm going to bury someone."
Pause. We're staring at each other.
Then I remembered that Mike works at a funeral home, so I laughed a single laugh and said: "Oh."
Then Mike laughed pretty hard.
"But seriously, I'm going to bury someone."
"I know you are. I believe you."
Mike has a sense of humor about his job. He says you've got to.

It's raining just a bit now.
I was supposed to go home and weed, but now I just want to go home, curl up and finish reading Stephen King's "On Writing." I already finished "The Omnivore's Dilemma," which left me fascinated with mushrooms. "On Writing" has been interesting. I've never read a Stephen King novel, but I'm enjoying his tips for writers and his quirky, honest look at how he became a writer.



Or maybe I'll bake some bread.
Last Sunday I baked a loaf from this book.
Orange Raisin Bagel Bread, something like that.
Yesterday I made some of the loaf into French Toast.
Yum!




Tomorrow I get to see the lovely Amanda who is coming into town!
This will be joyous. She is a dear heart who lives one million miles away.

Saturday I'll be heading to the city to look for antiques at the Randolph Street Market, and then back home for a rodeo. Yes. My first rodeo, and in my hometown to boot.
It will be quite a day with city-folk and then rodeo-folk. I just love people.
Apparently at the Randolph Street Market there will be an LP swap, antiques, indie designer market, and it's considered "the mecca of cool."
Sign me up.
Not sure if the rodeo is considered "the mecca of cool" but I wouldn't be surprised.

7.18.2011

one hundred. eighty four.

Few things top an evening like this, sweltering as it is.
For some reason I thought it would be a genius idea to crank up the oven & make these:











Behold, the beauty of chocolate zucchini cupcakes. Taylor and I are definitely going to have an excess of zucchini this year from the garden so we're trying to find creative ways to use it up besides handing it out to random strangers. 
We've made mountains of zucchini bread in the past that just goes to waste, or we throw it into every pasta we eat, so this cupcake recipe was attempt number one to switch it up. 
They are in the oven as I type. 
Cross your fingers.
Also, someone (I think a random customer I was talking to about gardening...typical) told me a joke about zucchini: You know someone has no friends when they have no zucchini. 
So. If you need a friend. Or some zucchini. I'm your girl. 
On a side note, can't believe I just wrote a zucchini joke on here. 
It's getting sad, folks. 

On Saturday, Mumsie, Bethany & I went to this fabulous antique flea market where I spent some of my birthday moolah on old stuff. I love collecting bits of someone else's history & hanging it on my wall. 
I think it's just the neatest thing.
So do lots of other people, older people, because we were outnumbered by people 50+. Some other young ragamuffins were hanging around too, so we didn't feel too conspicuous. But most of them were definitely older.
On that note, I feel like it would be appropriate to compile a list. 
Things I do that older folks do:
Garden. Go to antique flea markets. Knit. Crochet. Go to bed early. Get up early. Complain. Listen to Frank Sinatra. Love me some nap time. 
So far one of the only differences I see is that I keep my teeth in when I go to bed. 

My AC is out in my car, so currently the only thing that is keeping me sane is listening to the sweet sounds of Josh Garrels and the mix cd that Nora made for me which features some Ben Rector. Never heard of him, but you can't stop this girl from dancing when she hears "The Beat" or "Dance with me Baby." 
Also, Lucy Rose's "Night Bus." Magic. 
And more. 

Cupcakes are out. I'm going to label them a success.

7.15.2011

one hundred. eighty three.

Today at work there was the most darling little girl in with her mom and sister.
Her mom got some blended caramel butterscotch drink, her sister got a smoothie.
Meanwhile, this tiny fair-skinned, pixie cut blonde child was staring intensely at the list of teas. She couldn't have been more than 8 or 9.
So maturely, she asked to smell several different teas. She had the biggest, most solemn blue eyes that just peeked over the counter. An old soul packed into this little bit of a girl.
After carefully smelling 3 different green teas, she chose the gojiberry pomegranate.
So adorable.

Lately, I've been doing a bit of this [I am including pictures to give this blog some visual interest. Ignore the terrible quality of my webcam.]:


I have written half of a song. I'm going to count it as my first, because the other one I made up was probably 12 years ago, and was dedicated to my mother. It went something like: "You're not perfect, you do cry. I guess you're normal just like I." Clearly I'm a genius with lyrics.
I have also been reading this fabulous book. I am finding it mucho interesting and it is giving me more gumption to follow through on living in a more sustainable way. Most of the time my gumption just falls back into reading about other people who are living that way, which makes me feel better because I begin to live vicariously through them. However, at the end of the day this is not effective. Ergo, hello canning trial & error this autumn.

I had a birthday! I celebrated by purchasing salmon for dinner, which was delightful and worth every penny. Where do I have to live to eat salmon every day? Because that's where I need to end up. My birthday also happened to be the day a zillion people lost power in my area, our family included. Happy Birthday to me.

Last night Bethany and I went to a dear little show at the Starline Gallery. They had this theater company come in and do "The Taming of the Shrew" in the wide open space on the first floor. I fell in love with the brick walls and big windows, we brought a blanket and some snacks because they wanted an "indoor Ravinia feel." Worked like a charm, except next time we'll bring chairs. The floor is a little rough halfway through a Shakespeare play. I've never seen/read the comedy, but found it delightful.

In my head I've been doing quite a bit of writing, gourmet cooking & training for a fierce obstacle course. In real life I spend too much time watching random documentaries on Netflix and staring at random objects while lost in thought.

6.27.2011

one hundred. eighty two.

I am currently obsessed with "Ulysses" by Josh Garrels. It is truly a thing of beauty. I listened to it as we were flying over hills/deserts on my first ever plane ride last week. It's the perfect traveling song - driving, flying, biking, sailing (naturally, since it's about sailing...). It just has that feel to it. You know?

So. My first ever plane ride!
I think I tend to make a big deal out of many things in my life. So many occasions strike me as momentous or especially enthralling.
While this is good for me because I end up rarely disappointed in life, to others it might appear that I am over-dramatic.
It's not like I'm spinning in circles with arms outstretched in the airport, singing. I was, however, one of the happiest people on that plane. That may have also been due to the fact that it was 5:10 in the morning; most people were tired & cranky.
The plane ride was probably not good for me, though. I gazed out the window for the longest time on high hills and stretches of land that I longed to visit. I like the west, there are a lot of open spaces and high peaks. I am restless and want to travel, want to walk those hills. I like visiting places an awful lot, I love seeing how other people do life. I'd especially like to get a passport and see how people do life outside of the states.

California is a neat place, and the wedding we went to was the most lovely. I've only been to several weddings that felt so right. It just spreads through the air as family and friends are happy for the union, encouraged by it even. It's something that sends people away with hope. Both sets of parents were so grateful to the other set for raising such a wonderful child. Jacob and Jenna are two of the sweetest people I know, it made for such a fun, joyful wedding, so centered around God and His work in their lives.

Another California adventure: fell asleep in the sun day one since I'd had relatively no sleep, so I burnt alive and was peeling pretty hideously by the time the wedding came around. It literally looked like I had some skin pigmentation problems. It didn't show up in pictures (I think?) but anyone who got too close to me gave me some funky stares.
We also did some of the things you're supposed to do, like go to In-N-Out Burger, watch the surfers on the pier, and visit the most beautiful park, Torrey Pines, which had a beach I'd like to live on. We also went to several fun, eclectic little places and little markets that were very dear or very strange. Really, one or the other.

Now it's back to the humdrum which I love so much. I returned to work to find that some customers hadn't come in since I'd left, then came in today for my first day back. Makes a girl feel pretty special.

6.17.2011

one hundred. eighty one.

Had the most girly evening with Bethany a few days ago: we padded around her new apartment in our bare feet & served up some pasta on old china. Then we hunkered down for an evening with Audrey Hepburn and fresh peach pie, finishing it all off with chatting over french press decaf. Delightful.

This week I've had sort of a mini vacation which turned mostly into catching up on things I haven't been doing, i.e. cleaning/weeding, plus catching up with friends and cheering up the dearest friend. Today I cleaned like a madwoman in the morning so that I could take a few hours to drive up to Lake Geneva in the afternoon. I soaked up some sun, read, napped like a kitten in the warmth, wrote a letter, perused shop windows...a few hours later I felt nearly brand new.

I start far too many books at one time. I've lost count of how many I'm reading presently.
I've been without my journal all week and have since felt the strongest urge to journal. Never mind that I have been slacking quite a bit on journaling, if I know I can't do something I really want to do it.
It's a destructive habit.
Also, it's just extremely disconcerting to be without my journal. Sometimes I write things and think "If this got published, I would probably be famous."
But, most times it's rubbish, embarrassing rubbish at that.

I always comment anonymously on other blogs, but when people comment anonymously here I get so inquisitive. Backwards, I know. Serves me right for trying to be mysterious/too afraid.


It's been a good while. Sometimes if I feel especially vulnerable I won't write because I feel like I'll betray something. I don't even write in my journal.
This is bad because then periods of vulnerability go undocumented. I might glean something if I learned to write honestly and carefully during those times. 
I should also install a recording device in my car, because I frequently talk things out there as I drive, which I think might be humorous in about 20 years. 


Last thing: Tonight I took vanilla ice cream and put on dark chocolate shavings and pecans. For some reason I felt like a total genius. It was delicious, by the way. 

5.16.2011

one hundred. eighty.

Hello, summer.
Weeks ago Alex and I hunted down spring buds on bushes in the forest preserve, and today I come home and notice that my yard is shady and cool because the trees have become full of leaves.
It usually happens like that, I see the beginnings but always miss the middle of spring. Tulips leaves just barely push out of the ground, so I rejoice, but I miss the middle and catch them once they've bloomed.
Today I struggled and huffed and puffed, pushing our ancient broken lawnmower over our yard which out of nowhere turned into a field of grass & dandelions, probably rivaling the lush greens of the Amazon. Probably. Then I proceeded to weed around some ferns and strawberry plants that run along the edge of our driveway. To keep me company I decided play artists on my ipod that I never listen to: The Local Natives and Monster of Folk.
Other signs of spring/summer would be the baby rabbit that has been eating carrots we put out and the small cries of the fuzzy starlings just hatched under the roof of our garage.
[quite lovely.]
I have disabled my Facebook for summer time so I can live a bit more, send out really truly letters, write in my journal and embrace things that are not digital [i.e. less of the digital friends, pictures, conversations, etc.]. It was a strange feeling detaching myself from it, but today I'm feeling a sense of freedom.
In other news: I am currently grooving to the youtube channel watchlistentell, which has a collection of nice music
I'm enjoying a new bike that is old
I have a growing list of DIY projects that I would like to tackle [suitcase chair? anyone?]
My feet are still tender from winter so I walk barefoot often, in case I need to dash through the woods like an Indian
& some days I pretend that I can play the ukulele.

About a week ago at work, my very favorite couple stopped in. They are older [I'm really wretched with ages, so I couldn't hazard a guess], and perhaps I've talked about them before. They always lean in to each other. Ringing bells? Well, they are just adorable, unlike the other grouchy couples who come in, who barely talk because they've spent their lives together and now are just sick of hearing the other person. My favorite couple always gets a skim latte each, and lean in and talk like it's their fourth date [quite comfortable, but still interested].
Anyhow, so the lady comes up to the counter and I ask her how long they've been married.
She laughs and says it's been 38 years.
I tell her that they are my favorite couple, that I've talked about them to others, how they always seem to enjoy being together.
She said that they really do, and also says they just finished some race or triathlon together a few weeks ago. They just like being together. She laughed a little bit more.
It was just darling.

4.22.2011

one hundred. seventy nine.


I've started to compile my summer reading list.
This stack of books is not conclusive. 
It's just the stack of books that I have sitting around to read. 
Should keep me busy.

I'm looking forward to summer so much.
I'll be signing out of facebook as soon as school ends
and not signing back on until cooler weather rolls around.
That will be nice. 
I'll still be working
but not homeworking.
I'll be driving. So much.
And flying for the first time.
I'll be getting my hands dirty in our garden and helping to host salad parties that I will invite you to if you like fresh salad. 


What are you reading & planning?

3.29.2011

one hundred. seventy eight.

The strangest day so far.
I'll blame it on last night. About to go to sleep when I decide to take a swig of the water bottle sitting next to the bed.
You know those cleaning commercials when it makes the "DUN DUN DUN DUN" noise, that frightening music, followed by the screeching sound when you glimpse the pawprint from Fido on your carpet?
Tell me you know what I mean.
In any case, that was going through my head as I was taking delicious gulps, then glanced down at the bottle to see dainty, fluffy little clumps of mold clinging to the sides and floating around.
Who knew mold could grow in a water bottle?!
I warned my sister to check my vital signs every few hours and tried to sleep.
Woke up this morning feeling especially groggy. Went to work, thankful that it was a short shift, and thankful it was Tuesday. Tuesdays are unusually uneventful.
The day is going on merrily, until about 8:30 when crazy man walks in.
I knew immediately and instinctively that he would be crazy.
I'm making friendly small talk with the police officer who always gets a honey latte. I tell crazy man I'll be right with him. Crazy man walks right up to the counter and asks me how my morning has been.
"...It's been good, thanks, how has your morning been?"
"Not good. Just got a seat belt ticket. And I have no money. But I'm not going to let it ruin my day."
"Good plan."
Personally, I would never discuss tickets in front of a police officer, seems like some sort of faux pas, but this guy seems to have no problem. The police officer gives me a sympathetic glance, then takes his latte and walks out the door. I silently rage at being left alone with crazy man.
Crazy man asks for a small coffee in a large cup, so that he can put a load of cream in. Not that I'm counting, but it's a decent 10 oz. of cream he throws in there.
He makes random requests, a phone book, switch cups, put the phone book back he forgot he had his own, etc. He is disoriented.
He sits with his phone book and begins to make calls with his phone on speaker. He is calling pharmacies. I surmise that he might potentially be off his meds. He puts his phone down for a second and then suddenly, literally SUDDENLY is asleep. Passed out. In his sleep he twitches and takes off his shoes.
I tell my boss and random customers that he is probably just conducting a social experiment to see if we will kick him out.
I laugh loudly, bang pitchers on the counter and yell "GOODBYE" to customers as they leave.
No response.
My boss doesn't want to kick him out, she is a little scared of him.
He is startled and wakes up, strangely not at any point that I was making noise. In waking up he dumps his creamy coffee all over the floor. He then places his foot, sock only, right in the middle of the puddle and goes back to sleep.
We make Paul, the manager from the other side, go and wake him up and tell him we need to clean up his mess.
He apologizes profusely, but I suspect he is still asleep by the drooling he is doing as he's talking. We encourage him to go to the bathroom and splash some water on his face. He agrees, but not before taking off his soaked socks, putting on his shoes and leaving his socks on the floor behind him.
We clean everything up.
He comes back out, apologizes again, buys another coffee and then leaves, but not before jumping from sitting in his car to checking his trunk multiple times.
Glen - the man who sits in the computer tech window we have in our coffee shop - says that I attract crazy people, because I am crazy.
Thanks Glen.
We then have a jolly conversation about social experiments and he gives me a piece of chocolate.
So, all in all...strange times.
Anyhow, currently I'm hoarding a table at Panera during the lunch rush, so I'm feeling some guilt. I should probably get up and let some old friends sit here and catch up. I also should spy on the delicate drawing the man in front of me is doing in blue pencil. I've been craning my neck to catch a glimpse.

3.21.2011

one hundred. seventy seven.

Current battle: Christina vs. Diet Diary.
My biology teacher is making us all do a diet diary for a week, writing down not only calories but fat, saturated fat, sugars, fiber, carbs, sodium and protein.
This is turning every meal into quite the ordeal. [unintentional rhyming.]
Not only do I feel guilty when I've downed three Oreos after lunch and I'm giving Nutella longing glances an hour later, but I also have to add up everything I eat.
Example: Yesterday I wanted a tuna sandwich. I need to measure portions and then tally up all the above points for the tomato, bread, tuna, salt, mayo, mustard and cheese. Ridiculous.
I'm about ready to just give up on eating for the rest of the week.
I've also started looking at foods to see which ones only have five ingredients, because I was reading a book about how you should only eat foods with 5 ingredients.
This would eliminate some of my diet.
Especially Oreos.


I have been positively awful at blogging and journaling. I don't know how my days seem so short, I'm only taking 2 classes and yet my homework load seems strangely overwhelming when combined with work, family & friends. I wish I did have time to write, it seems I have a lot to write about. Someday when I publish my memoirs/coffee shop book, you'll know.
Current other things that occupy my time besides homework/work would be my ukulele that I've been trying to learn how to play [wretched strumming patterns are confusing], a trip to Nashville where I had my first shot of tequila and left with an LP from The Civil Wars which I have been fairly obsessed with. Also, spending my time with this charming chap named Alex. It's a good story, I'll tell you sometime.


I've been thinking too. Drives to work and school and friends leave time for lots of thinking - I end up wishing more came out of it, something with a forward motion.
& I'm thinking about being empty.
There are good connotations to this - emptying yourself for another and such.
Being empty might be better than being full, i.e. full of oneself or too complacent and satisfied so that you no longer hunger.

One thing I'm frightened of is empty words.
They hang there after I've said them and hold no weight, even float away.
When I grab her arm and say "I'll be praying for you."
Do those words hold meaning or do I just say them because we say these things?
When I look at you & say "I'm sorry," am I really?
When I express love or sorrow, are my words reflecting true feelings and initiative or seem listless and shallow?
Even as customers walk out the door with their coffee at the shop, and I send them off with a "Have a good day!" I'd like to mean that too. I earnestly want them to have a good day. I want to earnestly love and sorrow and apologize and pray, want my words to hold meaning and weight.
You know?

2.18.2011

one hundred. seventy six.

http://mrmrsglobetrot.blogspot.com/

Just lovely, check it out. Also look at their wedding page, so very lovely.

Today is mini-vacation day in Lake Geneva. I'm taking a few hours to sit & do homework & ramble about the area. It really does feel like a vacation, and the drive up was just a dream. Cornfields, music, little towns.

So I'm sitting in the Starbucks right now which feels a little bit like cheating. I'm kind of a coffee snob, working at a locally owned coffee shop, and here I am sitting at Starbucks. But I had a gift card and I like not spending money.
Like a cat, I picked a chair in the sun and am now sprawled out taking in as much warmth as I can.
& have been enjoying my tea latte quite a bit. It's only a matter of time before I dash up for a piece of marble loaf.

& although I am basking in the glorious sunlight, sometimes I feel as if my entire life is made up of things that go well with rainy days.
Or, I should say, I love rain and fog and things that feel like rain and fog.
Music that feels like rain and fog is the best kind of music.
Clothes that feel like rain and fog, like boots and scarves and sweaters.
& other things too that feel like rain and fog, like crocheting and cooking something comforting and reading aloud and curling up.
It's a bit strange, but I actually associate quite a bit with that.
So. I guess I should be living in England or Ireland.

Anyhow. This sun is nice today, though.

::update:: Delightful older British man walks over & starts a conversation.
"I couldn't help but notice that you seem to be really enjoying your studying." He motions to his monstrous folder. "I'm the same."
[Clearly he was being sarcastic because I was half-heartedly looking over Political Science homework while mostly watching people around Starbucks and picking almonds out of my teeth.]
He then launched into a short summary of his studies on history, and how Julius Caesar fabricated some of the history he wrote down to help his personal agenda.
"Well, I didn't want to distract you, just wanted to sympathize."

This is a great day.

2.02.2011

one hundred. seventy five.

Snowed in.
Took us 2+ hours to shovel our way around.
Our neighbor decided to blow some of his snow on our freshly shoveled driveway.
That was not ok.
But then it was because he came and finished our sidewalk with his mega super powered snowblower. It's a job our little 20 dollar one couldn't quite handle.
Our backyard was quite snowy.


 
& these weren't even the largest drifts. 

About to hunker down with some homework before I finally finish "Mere Christianity."
What I find amazing so far with this book is the timeless answers & also the timeless arguments. People today are making the same claims against Christianity that they did decades ago.
Anyhow, just a brief thought.
Hope you're taking some time to hunker down as well.

2.01.2011

one hundred. seventy four.

being blizzarded calls for various knitwear.
my sweater is 18 sizes too big and i have socks up to my knees.


working on finishing the cowl that has literally taken me almost 6 months to knit.
knitting = slow & torturous. 
this is a grand sort of day.
[in case you were wondering: "blizzarded" is a technical term.]

1.31.2011

one hundred. seventy three.

Theme of the day:
Distracted.


I am obsessed with/distracted by Fast Typer.
I am distracted by my dog playing in the snow [hilarious].
I am distracted by waffles with almond butter.
I am distracted by you.
I am distracted by Pandora.
I am distracted by thoughts. I literally sit and zone out on an object across the room, thinking, then come to about 5 minutes later.
I am distracted by my sister.
I am distracted by constant weather checks to see how much snow we're going to get.
I am distracted by my uneven finger nails.
I am distracted by dictionary.com.


20 pages into U.S. Government reading and I can't go on. I am just too removed.
Lets go out & play instead.

1.28.2011

one hundred. seventy two.

A little bit of Bright Eyes today.
[& the world's got me dizzy again
You think after 22 years I'd be used to the spin
& it only feels worse when I stay in one place
So I'm always pacing around or walking away.] 
I'm on a bit of a kick. i always like bright eyes better at night. I think it's because the first time I heard Bright Eyes was at Ayla's house, and she would play them to fall asleep to.
[I took off my shoes & walked into the woods. I felt lost & found with every step I took.]
I had a gift certificate to Mario Tricoci's so today I redeemed it with a hair cut. 
This place was a little intimidating.
They gave me a robe when I walked in. 
When I walked back I asked my hair lady what to do with it.
"...You could put it on, if you wanted."
Right. That would make sense. 
Or none, at all, to put on a black robe just for a hair cut.
But I did, anyhow. Live it up. 
This place was weird, though. I don't know if I could do it again. The girls who weren't cutting hair were standing in front of mirrors cutting their own hair, just teeny bits here and there.
snip snip. fluff fluff fluff. curl small portion. snip. fluff fluff. hairspray. snip. 
stare at self in mirror.
repeat.
I was a little glad to leave. 
[however, now my hair smells especially nice.]


I liked these little bits:
"...But it was all a bunch of hot air - nothing but their own opinions. Empty ritual. Their robes were costumes, and their temple was an empty shell. This story scares me because it shows that it's possible for a whole generation to go happily about the business of their religion, all the while having lost a true knowledge of God.
Knowledge doesn't have to be dull & lifeless. And when you think about it, exactly what is our alternative? Ignorance? Falsehood?
We're either building our lives on the reality of what God is truly like and what He's about, or we're basing our lives on our own imagination & misconceptions. 
We're all theologians. The question is whether what we know about God is true." [Joshua Harris]

1.25.2011

one hundred. seventy one.

So much food in my stomach right now.
Went out with pappy. Got some pasta dish which came with breadsticks.
Also had a beer.
Also had 3 oreos when I got home.
[Yes, they were Double Stuf.]
Disgusting. I am disgusting and also huge.

You know what I've been thinking about?
I've been thinking about how I want to live a life worth writing about. I don't know if that goal is shallow or a bit ridiculous, but it's true. I want to live a life that I want to put down on paper. Not necessarily something that someone would pick up and read, but something worth spending some pen and paper on, some time scratching it out.
You know? Something interesting, or simple, or innovative. Something new or rediscovered.
Example: not worth writing about - Today I worked then got home and watched TV. Then I heated up some leftovers, belched, let the dog out, let the dog in, went to bed.
[That was not actually my day. I had breadsticks instead of leftovers, and I moved a massive bed which involved me using power tools. Totally handled it like a rockstar.]

Involved in this goal - as I was thinking on it - was that I would love to eat FOOD worth writing about.
Bad food example: 3 double stuf Oreos.
Good food example: Food that I had a real hand in, whether growing, or purchasing from someone who had a real relationship to the food, or just making something with my hands.
I think that would be really neat.
Have I been watching too much of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution and Food Inc. and such?
Yes.
Yes I have.
Still. This resolution stands.

1.22.2011

one hundred. seventy.

More Matthew and the Atlas.
I'm digging I Will Remain and Within the Rose.
I have so much new music too, more than I know what to do with. So I'm slowly making my way through it, then jumping back to Within the Rose and reveling in its sweet huskiness.
It's like sitting in a log cabin built 200 years ago, with chinks between the logs and sunlight streaming through.
Literally.
Listen to the song. That's it.

I started school up again.
My U.S. Government teacher is hilarious.
He looks like he always about to beat you up.
He's about 15 feet tall and a hefty man.
Not large, just...big.
For instance, he needs to keep his arms out to his sides so that his biceps don't rub against his ribcage area.
He also constantly pushes his sleeves up over his elbows
which is what they always do before they fight
in the movies.
Real tough guy.
Probably because he spent 20 years in various war zones.
Anyhow, so he appears to know what he's talking about.
I like him because he thinks politics is a lot of poop
and wants us to learn to think for ourselves.
At least, that what he tells us...

This weekend has been quite the whirlwind, in a good way.
& it's not even over.
& i'm still spinning a bit too much to have good clarity or good words, even.
So. I'll leave off there.

1.18.2011

one hundred. sixty nine.

I'll admit it.
I'm a bit of a sucker for romance, at times.
There were tears in my eyes at the end of "The Young Victoria."
My heart might leap at sweet songs.
So I can't help but come near to bursting when a romance blooms right in front of me at the coffee shop. These two lovely single parents have both been dropping by separately for ages.
She gets the large caramel vanilla cappuccino.
He gets the medium iced mocha.
They'd seen each other in passing.
Their kids went to the same day care.
Then one day, their paths crossed in the shop.
I spied from behind the counter as they chatted.
Then:
Him | "Why don't you let me take you out for coffee?"
Her | "Sure!"
The next day he comes in early and buys both coffees.
[Good man.]
They sit and talk.
Bright Eyes enters and begins to play "The First Day of My Life" quietly in the corner.
[Ok, not really, but in my head, yes. Listen to it if you don't know it.]
She leaves & he comes over and tells us that he likes her and just hopes that she falls for his boyish charm.
We tell him that we're rooting for him.
Weeks pass.
They come in often and drink coffee together.
Seriously, these are gag-me adorable moments
The sly grin from him as he makes a dorky joke.
The shy smile and downcast eyes from her.
The lingering as they walk out to the cars.
The walk away, still talking.
The walk back so they can finish their conversation.
The walk away, still smiling.
He walks back and movie moment, all out kisses the crap out of her.
The shy smile and downcast eyes from her.
The collective "awe" from....well, me, creeping from inside.
Bright Eyes finishes their song.

1.14.2011

one hundred. sixty eight.

so. i'm cracking pistachios with a vigor heretofore unknown.
also, here is my new project:



My entire house will be full of
delightful little
vintage
suitcase chairs.
Please come over!





I like Matthew and the Atlas.
I think.
I always take a while to make up my mind about new music.

My Dad has this funny thing about our garage key.
He always takes it with him.
Eventually, someone needs to get into the garage for snow shovel/sled/lawn mower/random tool.
We search high & low on the key rack.
No key.
We call my Dad.
"Oh yeah, I have it with me."
"Dad...we need to get in the garage."
"Shoot. I keep meaning to make some extra keys."
That is his answer. Leaving the garage key at home is not an option.
He'll probably need it. Sometime.
At work.
When he's 40 miles from the garage.
Oh Pappy.

This week was an interesting one.
By interesting I mostly mean awkward with a few other things thrown in.
Things like bittersweet & uncomfortable & music.
Also - nice.
But like I said: mostly awkward.

To round off --
[I'm finally feeling something like free.]

1.09.2011

one hundred. sixty seven.

Curled up on the couch in my flannel pajama pants with an over-sized cardigan.
Reading, writing & listening to James Taylor spinning on our record player.
What lovely, simple things.

My list has been growing so that now it's half bucket list, half list of plans/decisions.
I should probably separate them.

Our house has been quite full recently with Amanda, Nora & Lizzie all visiting at different times this last week. A bit of a whirlwind, but in a good way.
School begins a week from tomorrow so the whirlwind really just continues.
But in a good way.
Truly, so much to learn.

1.07.2011

one hundred. sixty six.

A customer from work told me to make a list of 20 things I want to do. Just jot them down without too much thinking & analyzing. I'm doing it. It's helpful. Sometimes I feel a bit like I'm wandering - not stagnant, my footing just isn't too sure. If I write things down it helps. I'm a list person, I like to look at words on a page.


Went snowboarding for the first time 2 days ago.
Yesterday my arms were a bit sore.
Today everything is a bit sore. Heading down the city in just a few hours, so it couldn't be a better day to have trouble walking down the stairs.
I'm not a particularly fearless person, so snowboarding for me consisted mostly of braking my way down big hills and running into the lift. Literally. Colliding with the lift.
It was still thrilling.

Our cat, Gilbert, killed a mouse sometime last week. He found it zipping around the kitchen & somehow caught it, though he is a sissy with no claws.
He paraded it in front of us when we were all sitting in the living room watching a movie.
Now he has taken to lurking around the kitchen all the time, darting about like mad. No more mice, but it seems like Gil has found some profound purpose and now will let no mouse escape his savage, claw-less paws.

Also, I just don't understand people who are obsessed with sports. It makes no sense. I hear these two customers at work talking about football like EVERYTHING depends on this quarterback or that team or who knows what.
I capitalized EVERYTHING and that still doesn't feel like it encompasses the EVERYTHING that it is.
You know - happiness, faith, what they name their dog, their child, where they live, etc...

1.01.2011

one hundred. sixty five.

Goodness, that last post was so long.
Here's a short one:

I'm looking forward to 2011, to this clean slate.
There is very little that is sure, but in the unknowing there is a certain calm. .

And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

[We tried to sing that last night, but didn't really know the words. Blast.] 
Anyhow, hope your ringing in was quite memorable, as mine was fairly mellow. Sparkling apple juice with friends and all that. In my flannel pajama pants by 9:00. 
I read my Oswald Chambers last entry of the year and felt quite drawn to his ending line:
"Leave the Irreparable Past in His hand, and step out into the Irresistible Future with Him." 
So, Happy New Year!