two hundred. sixteen.

This morning I wanted to finish both the books I've been reading and I've done just that.
One was Toxic Charity [giving to those in need what they could be gaining from their own initiative may well be the kindest way to destroy people.]
and the other was a novel called To The Wedding ["It is strange how the place, where music comes from, changes. Sometimes it enters the body. It no longer comes in through the ears. It takes up residence there. When two bodies dance, this can happen swiftly. What is being played is then heard by the dancers as if it were a recording, a millionth of a second late, of the music already beating in their bodies. With music, hope too enters the body."].
Some good reading.

This week has been so busy. Decorating fever - I am redoing a room in our house and it's become quite involved. On the plus side, the window seat has officially become a window seat, and I've been delighted to find that I am a perfect fit encased within the wooden frame.
It is my new favorite place [nearly in the whole world, but not quite], and I'm so ready to watch the first snowfall from this massive, glorious window.
More perfect fits: a new white dress, a picture in a frame, the smile on her face and the way the sunset held us.

I told Tai yesterday that I keep thinking of being swallowed, and I do. There is a restrained frenzy in certain moments and all I can wildly hope for is to be swallowed whole - by waves, or the sky or the earth.
It's strange.
But it was the first image and the only recurring one that's come to my mind.
[to clarify:: i don't mean swallowed necessarily with a sense of grimness, as if i visualized my death. there's a safety to it - a stillness. like jonah.]

There is change.
Here at the beginning of the summer when we settle into the sweltering heat, ready only for the same for the next several months,
there is change.

There are evenings where all we can hope for is a place to dip our toes in the water.
So Tai and I drove to the nearest body of water, sat on the pier and did just that.