I completely redact anything i have ever said about snow/winter being awful.
it's just the best at this very moment.
honestly, the biggest snowflakes i've ever seen.
i just walked outside to stand in the snow.
harper is all a buzz, but as soon as i step out it's as if the world was silenced.
so very very quiet, it took a moment to distinguish noises at all, just like adjusting to darkness after being in the sunlight.
after a moment i heard the quiet hum of machines in the buildings, heaters or whatnot.
several moments later i could even begin to hear the soft pat of the snow hitting the sidewalk.
i can stand without sundresses and flip-flops for the time being...
-christina
2.25.2008
2.24.2008
twenty.five.
what would you do if i said it out loud?
...in a bullet proof vest
with the windows all closed...
here it is: i'm letting my guard down.
this has been an insane week, what with school and interning for the show and all. it's show week, i haven't gotten a lot of sleep. i say that as if i've been working hard, but a lot of the late nights have to do with talking or singing or walking on a field of ice. it's been a typical show week, filled with it's own lovely times and drama and sadness and nostalgia.
winter is nice, but i'm looking forward to flip-flops and sundresses soooo much right now.
iiiii would like an ipod. i used to think i couldn't think of 500 songs to fill up my little 2GB mp3 player but I was very, very wrong. however, i don't think this is a case of nothing-will-ever-be-good-enough. i'm not going to need some ridiculously expensive deal with enough space to store 20 movies. just a couple thousand songs... that should do it. i'll need to do some saving up, but that'll take money out of my ireland fund which is no good.
there is this one song i've fallen particularly in love with, just for the strings at the end. "Amie" by Damien Rice. Maybe you should listen to it. If you spread your arms out wide, you can feel the music in your fingertips, i guarantee it.
there's been a lot of wedding talk lately, just because us girls like discussing weddings. rachel is especially fun to talk wedding talk with. she gives us the best moral advice slash tidbits of wisdom. it's hilarious. she's honest and realistic, but always has encouraging things to say. the most common one is "but seriously guys, being married is the best." you can see her saying it, can't you?
i've been listening to the finding neverland soundtrack a bit lately, and with all this wedding talk i've picked my entire wedding ceremony music out using just the soundtrack. i kid you not. it will be fantastic and magical.
i need shoes to go with my formal dress.
i'm poor.
maybe i'll just go barefoot. or in my galoshes.
i should get to bed so that i can be top notch for ballet tomorrow [which was a bit better last week, by the way].
sleep well. i'll see you soon.
-christina
...in a bullet proof vest
with the windows all closed...
here it is: i'm letting my guard down.
this has been an insane week, what with school and interning for the show and all. it's show week, i haven't gotten a lot of sleep. i say that as if i've been working hard, but a lot of the late nights have to do with talking or singing or walking on a field of ice. it's been a typical show week, filled with it's own lovely times and drama and sadness and nostalgia.
winter is nice, but i'm looking forward to flip-flops and sundresses soooo much right now.
iiiii would like an ipod. i used to think i couldn't think of 500 songs to fill up my little 2GB mp3 player but I was very, very wrong. however, i don't think this is a case of nothing-will-ever-be-good-enough. i'm not going to need some ridiculously expensive deal with enough space to store 20 movies. just a couple thousand songs... that should do it. i'll need to do some saving up, but that'll take money out of my ireland fund which is no good.
there is this one song i've fallen particularly in love with, just for the strings at the end. "Amie" by Damien Rice. Maybe you should listen to it. If you spread your arms out wide, you can feel the music in your fingertips, i guarantee it.
there's been a lot of wedding talk lately, just because us girls like discussing weddings. rachel is especially fun to talk wedding talk with. she gives us the best moral advice slash tidbits of wisdom. it's hilarious. she's honest and realistic, but always has encouraging things to say. the most common one is "but seriously guys, being married is the best." you can see her saying it, can't you?
i've been listening to the finding neverland soundtrack a bit lately, and with all this wedding talk i've picked my entire wedding ceremony music out using just the soundtrack. i kid you not. it will be fantastic and magical.
i need shoes to go with my formal dress.
i'm poor.
maybe i'll just go barefoot. or in my galoshes.
i should get to bed so that i can be top notch for ballet tomorrow [which was a bit better last week, by the way].
sleep well. i'll see you soon.
-christina
2.13.2008
twenty.four.
you know what's embarrassing?
ballet class, that's what.
honestly, there are people in a beginning
[did you get that? i'll say it again]
BEGINNING
ballet class
and they have taken...
i don't know...
18 years of ballet.
is this fair?
i think not.
so whilst some of us are stumbling through simple combinations
[and i do mean stumbling]
they gracefully and perfectly lift lovely feet and dainty hands
as if they've been doing this all their life...
oh wait.
they have.
furthermore!
they stand in the back, making beginners and stumblers
like myself
stand front and center.
it's laughable, really.
though quite unfair.
i haven't felt so awkward since i was 15 and gangly.
however. i maintain some hope that someday i'll be like that.
balancing and leaping and detailed footwork all as easy as breathing.
until then...
in slightly more uplifting news i got a 100 for my first speech.
[i think she gave everyone 100, so this is not incredibly amazing, but still noteworthy.]
today is love is the movement.
i wrote love on my arm.
i need to go and finish a booku of homework, and i will listen to some musica.
have yourself a smashing day.
-christina
p.s. i'd like to read "persuasion" next, if only because of "the lake house."
ballet class, that's what.
honestly, there are people in a beginning
[did you get that? i'll say it again]
BEGINNING
ballet class
and they have taken...
i don't know...
18 years of ballet.
is this fair?
i think not.
so whilst some of us are stumbling through simple combinations
[and i do mean stumbling]
they gracefully and perfectly lift lovely feet and dainty hands
as if they've been doing this all their life...
oh wait.
they have.
furthermore!
they stand in the back, making beginners and stumblers
like myself
stand front and center.
it's laughable, really.
though quite unfair.
i haven't felt so awkward since i was 15 and gangly.
however. i maintain some hope that someday i'll be like that.
balancing and leaping and detailed footwork all as easy as breathing.
until then...
in slightly more uplifting news i got a 100 for my first speech.
[i think she gave everyone 100, so this is not incredibly amazing, but still noteworthy.]
today is love is the movement.
i wrote love on my arm.
i need to go and finish a booku of homework, and i will listen to some musica.
have yourself a smashing day.
-christina
p.s. i'd like to read "persuasion" next, if only because of "the lake house."
2.10.2008
twenty.three.
Tonight I feel a little low and broken.
It's just tonight, sort of an avalanche of things and I got all twisted up inside of them, and now I feel like the people who get caught underneath an avalanche and can't tell up from down, arms from legs.
2 nights ago i had some sad dreams and woke up crying. it's such an odd feeling, relief because it's not true, but these dream fragments hang on like cobwebs and i couldn't completely shake them off yesterday or today. dreams are funny like that. sometimes hard to forget.
today our car broke down. it'll survive. we're just stranded at CLA until the tow truck finds some free time, and that's where i'm at now.
it's late and i'm tired and all of a sudden every issue seems large and foreboding and insurmountable.
sometimes i have problems with trusting.
and patience.
like now.
i've always had this independent streak, and now i just want to go out... figure things out.
be wrong and be right and seek God and wisdom and work and school.
that's where i'm at now.
tonight.
sometimes i get tired of hearing how awful our culture is, what terrible places we're going to...
i'm having a hard time finding hope.
tonight.
I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
sometimes i stumble.
i think that's important to write about as much as polka-dot galoshes.
-christina
It's just tonight, sort of an avalanche of things and I got all twisted up inside of them, and now I feel like the people who get caught underneath an avalanche and can't tell up from down, arms from legs.
2 nights ago i had some sad dreams and woke up crying. it's such an odd feeling, relief because it's not true, but these dream fragments hang on like cobwebs and i couldn't completely shake them off yesterday or today. dreams are funny like that. sometimes hard to forget.
today our car broke down. it'll survive. we're just stranded at CLA until the tow truck finds some free time, and that's where i'm at now.
it's late and i'm tired and all of a sudden every issue seems large and foreboding and insurmountable.
sometimes i have problems with trusting.
and patience.
like now.
i've always had this independent streak, and now i just want to go out... figure things out.
be wrong and be right and seek God and wisdom and work and school.
that's where i'm at now.
tonight.
sometimes i get tired of hearing how awful our culture is, what terrible places we're going to...
i'm having a hard time finding hope.
tonight.
I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
sometimes i stumble.
i think that's important to write about as much as polka-dot galoshes.
-christina
1.31.2008
twenty.two.
twenty two is kind of fun to say.
i love my father.
he has this funny road rage issue, as if everyone on the road has some sort of personal vendetta against him. if someone cuts him off it's the greatest insult, and was completely intentional to ruin his entire day.
maybe it's not always funny.
just in retrospect, actually.
if you know beforehand that it's going to be a boring class, it's a good idea to sit next to a doodler. it makes things much more interesting. i sat next to the boy who drew monkeys over and over. monkeys? i draw eyes or bad 5-pointed stars or noses or clouds. i thought monkeys were an interesting choice.
my english teacher is a real hoot. all teachers have funny habits that you can't help but notice or chortle at, and he is no exception. he has this mouth thing... he twitches his lips constantly, and when focusing on something like handing out papers he rolls imaginary food or gum around and around. he also always likes to stick his hand in the projector when pointing something out, so his fingers appear massive on the screen. he does not cut his nails.
i don't think it would be a bad thing if he tried to challenge the students a bit more. it's English 102, everyone can relax because we all [hopefully] know what a thesis statement is, we don't have to go over where to put a comma, it's more literary, reading and analyzing. i want to like it. i want to think about it. he briefly touched on the idea of existentialism in a short story we were reading, and then quickly stepped away from it. but honestly, i think students in the class would much rather discuss larger ideas like that than discuss how obsessed Jimmy was with Martha [very obsessed].
at least i would.
my speech teacher?
please... look up images of wormtail from Harry Potter.
she could be his twin.
i kid you not.
plans for spring are under way.
originally i thought they were already finished, it would be relaxed and laidback with free weekends, but now it looks like plans may change.
they tend to do that, don't they?
it would be a good opportunity...
but i do like free weekends.
especially because i need to attend 8 hours of Deaf Events.
[argh.]
decisions decisions.
sometimes i toy with the idea of a short hair cut.
like right now.
it was awful in the past,
but this time it might be different?
my father asked me this:
"if you knew beforehand that something you created would one day destroy you, would you still create it?"
i had to ponder on this. i've got it now.
what do you think?
i am looking forward to Feb. 29th.
i had a great saturday. i saw C.S. Lewis onstage, this fantastic one man show. it's over now, so if you've missed it, you should be terribly disappointed. i would have loved to sit and chat with that man over some tea. or "tea" for him.
actually both of them. the character and the actor.
at the same time.
the show inspired much thought. i'll have to go and read those books now, definitely.
must go. i'm going to finish east of eden this week, i have a feeling. that would be superb.
-christina
i love my father.
he has this funny road rage issue, as if everyone on the road has some sort of personal vendetta against him. if someone cuts him off it's the greatest insult, and was completely intentional to ruin his entire day.
maybe it's not always funny.
just in retrospect, actually.
if you know beforehand that it's going to be a boring class, it's a good idea to sit next to a doodler. it makes things much more interesting. i sat next to the boy who drew monkeys over and over. monkeys? i draw eyes or bad 5-pointed stars or noses or clouds. i thought monkeys were an interesting choice.
my english teacher is a real hoot. all teachers have funny habits that you can't help but notice or chortle at, and he is no exception. he has this mouth thing... he twitches his lips constantly, and when focusing on something like handing out papers he rolls imaginary food or gum around and around. he also always likes to stick his hand in the projector when pointing something out, so his fingers appear massive on the screen. he does not cut his nails.
i don't think it would be a bad thing if he tried to challenge the students a bit more. it's English 102, everyone can relax because we all [hopefully] know what a thesis statement is, we don't have to go over where to put a comma, it's more literary, reading and analyzing. i want to like it. i want to think about it. he briefly touched on the idea of existentialism in a short story we were reading, and then quickly stepped away from it. but honestly, i think students in the class would much rather discuss larger ideas like that than discuss how obsessed Jimmy was with Martha [very obsessed].
at least i would.
my speech teacher?
please... look up images of wormtail from Harry Potter.
she could be his twin.
i kid you not.
plans for spring are under way.
originally i thought they were already finished, it would be relaxed and laidback with free weekends, but now it looks like plans may change.
they tend to do that, don't they?
it would be a good opportunity...
but i do like free weekends.
especially because i need to attend 8 hours of Deaf Events.
[argh.]
decisions decisions.
sometimes i toy with the idea of a short hair cut.
like right now.
it was awful in the past,
but this time it might be different?
my father asked me this:
"if you knew beforehand that something you created would one day destroy you, would you still create it?"
i had to ponder on this. i've got it now.
what do you think?
i am looking forward to Feb. 29th.
i had a great saturday. i saw C.S. Lewis onstage, this fantastic one man show. it's over now, so if you've missed it, you should be terribly disappointed. i would have loved to sit and chat with that man over some tea. or "tea" for him.
actually both of them. the character and the actor.
at the same time.
the show inspired much thought. i'll have to go and read those books now, definitely.
must go. i'm going to finish east of eden this week, i have a feeling. that would be superb.
-christina
1.28.2008
twenty.one.
Oh, tie me to the end of a kite
So I can go on, I can go on with my life
Every time the wind blows stronger,
I will feel my spirit rise
I just want to go away from here
Oh, tie me up tightly by your side
So I may go with you where ever you reside
And anytime the road looks dimmer
I will be your guiding light
I just want to go away with you
I just want to go away with you
I would like to write these songs.
Ballet gets out the same time as senior citizen water aerobics, so it's just me and the older women hanging in the locker room. They nod and smile and say "goodbye kiddo" when I leave. I like being called kiddo.
They are brave older women too, no cringing behind doors to change, no sir. They flaunt it.
We should all be so free.
If I find him, if I just follow
Would he hold me and never let me go
Would he let me borrow his wool winter coat
I don't know
I don't know
Speech class will be very easy. Almost ridiculously easy. I was warned before the class that it would be easy, I just didn't expect quite this.
Both days I'm here I have this glorious 4 hour break in the morning. I am determined to finish the two books I am reading rather swiftly, and also play the piano in the amazing practice rooms. Maybe I will make a hat. The options are really endless. I will not, however, spend mindless hours on the computer, stalking people that I hardly know on facebook, or looking up random internet sites that I will regret later. I didn't do so well today, but come Wednesday I will limit my computer time considerably.
I have very officially decided that I will not use "Here comes the Bride" while walking down the aisle. Instead I will use a devastatingly beautiful piece, like something from the Finding Neverland soundtrack.
I have much farther to go
Everything is new and so unpredictable
I should just kick my heels together and go home
But I’m not sure where that is anymore
Quiche is yummy.
I can't wait to wear my polka-dot galoshes.
There's airplane in the sky
With a banner right behind
loneliness is just a crime
Look each other in the eye
And say hello
-christina
p.s. i'm sorry.
So I can go on, I can go on with my life
Every time the wind blows stronger,
I will feel my spirit rise
I just want to go away from here
Oh, tie me up tightly by your side
So I may go with you where ever you reside
And anytime the road looks dimmer
I will be your guiding light
I just want to go away with you
I just want to go away with you
I would like to write these songs.
Ballet gets out the same time as senior citizen water aerobics, so it's just me and the older women hanging in the locker room. They nod and smile and say "goodbye kiddo" when I leave. I like being called kiddo.
They are brave older women too, no cringing behind doors to change, no sir. They flaunt it.
We should all be so free.
If I find him, if I just follow
Would he hold me and never let me go
Would he let me borrow his wool winter coat
I don't know
I don't know
Speech class will be very easy. Almost ridiculously easy. I was warned before the class that it would be easy, I just didn't expect quite this.
Both days I'm here I have this glorious 4 hour break in the morning. I am determined to finish the two books I am reading rather swiftly, and also play the piano in the amazing practice rooms. Maybe I will make a hat. The options are really endless. I will not, however, spend mindless hours on the computer, stalking people that I hardly know on facebook, or looking up random internet sites that I will regret later. I didn't do so well today, but come Wednesday I will limit my computer time considerably.
I have very officially decided that I will not use "Here comes the Bride" while walking down the aisle. Instead I will use a devastatingly beautiful piece, like something from the Finding Neverland soundtrack.
I have much farther to go
Everything is new and so unpredictable
I should just kick my heels together and go home
But I’m not sure where that is anymore
Quiche is yummy.
I can't wait to wear my polka-dot galoshes.
There's airplane in the sky
With a banner right behind
loneliness is just a crime
Look each other in the eye
And say hello
-christina
p.s. i'm sorry.
1.25.2008
twenty
Sometimes people take life to seriously.
I know a few people like that.
I heard that children that are kindergarten age find around 200 things to laugh at every day, and adults find around 17 things to laugh about every day.
I didn't make any new years resolutions, but if I did, I think it would be to find more things to laugh about.
-christina
I know a few people like that.
I heard that children that are kindergarten age find around 200 things to laugh at every day, and adults find around 17 things to laugh about every day.
I didn't make any new years resolutions, but if I did, I think it would be to find more things to laugh about.
-christina
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