sixteen

there's something kind of neat about an English accent. especially when i'm pretending to have one.

Christmas is over, sadly enough. It came as quite a surprise this year, I feel like I was hardly able to say hello before I started cleaning up wrapping paper. If this were a real live journal, and I was somewhere between 10 and 16 years old, I would list every single thing I got for Christmas. However, this is not, and I am not. I will say that I have a lovely ring on my finger now. and also a cookbook because apparently a good woman knows those things. I've flipped through the book and made some good intentions. stuffed mushrooms anyone?

Just now, I realized I do not have "Hey Jude" on my mp3 player. I have a version from the Across the Universe soundtrack, but it's not the Beatles. How did that happen? This is very perplexing.

My sister was living in hell a few days ago, perhaps figuratively. She had cut out the word HELLO in construction paper and hung it on her wall a while back [don't ask me why, she said she just wanted to spice up the space. what?]. Well, soon after hanging it up she decided to need the paper from the O to make something else. Not the H, or an L since she has two. No. So for several weeks it said HELL right above her bed. Did she notice? Ha. I made mention about a week ago, but it didn't finally come down until today.

Today we cleaned so much. This cleaning has been long past due. You think you're messy? You probably are, but let me tell you, so am I. So I cleaned a lot today. I realized that I have a decent amount of books, and waaayy to many old spiral notebooks with half-written songs and letters and stories in them. If I said about 25 of them I might be getting close, who knows? Did I throw away any of them? No. However, I did toss a huge black bag's worth of old cloth scraps and shirts and pants that I planned on turning into really creative outfits. That's something. I also got rid of some shoes.
I found some interesting tidbits today, as well. That tends to happen, I suppose, when you pack and pack and pack and then finally get around to cleaning stuff out. Some bittersweet, some really hilarious, some very odd. I found a game of M.A.S.H. that my sister and I had done. You know that game? Deciding the future of hopeful young girls? This particular one was probably a few years old. Instead of M.A.S.H. we called it F.A.R.T. [farmhouse, apartment, ranch, townhouse]. Haha, right? I'm sure we thought we were really really witty. SO glad I was home schooled. Anyhow, I ended up marrying... wait for it.. Kip from Napoleon Dynamite. We lived happily in a townhouse in Argentina, with his black jeep and my tie-dye semi and our 5 children. Don't get jealous.

I wrote a little today. And played the piano. At first I didn't know what I was going to do with myself for winter break, but I am managing really well. Went for a run this morning as well, and then all the cleaning, writing and piano. That's alright. Running when it's snowing is a little frustrating because I couldn't see, but also kind of nice. Really quiet.
Have I given up on jetman? No. Not a chance.

Oh! Watched a family video on Christmas Eve with my cousins, it was from some years back. Was I a fashion statement? You better believe it. High-rise jeans, probably around my rib cage. Huge through the waist/hips and then the tapered ankle, I know you know what I'm talking about. I tucked in my adult large t-shirt into my jeans. Low ponytail with the heavy bangs. So funny seeing it, I know exactly what I was thinking then. Despite the fact that I had a lisp [though I was probably still unaware to that] and didn't know how to work my knees and elbows because I was so gangly, I thought I was as cool as it got. Words cannot even describe...

i think that i'll just wait. when you hear "all my life" by Rosie Thomas and then right after hear "all the way" by Frank Sinatra, you can't help but be alright, if hopeful.

I'm like John Keats. His last words in his last letter:
"I can scarcely bid you goodbye even in a letter. I always made an awkward bow. God bless you! John Keats"

i can't ever figure out how to leave, even here. i always make an awkward bow.

God Bless You...
-Christina