ninety.nine.

Read a post that a friend wrote about growing older and such, plus Tai and I were talking about friends and family growing up and moving on. Then found this in my journal from a while back. I guess not much changes:

Why must we pull away?

Shove away?

Detangle ourselves like unraveling pieces of thread?

Tonight I am tired.

tired of change

& separation

& loneliness. 

I'm frightened to pull away from those I've grown with

Those I feel somewhat entwined with.

I'm tired of change,

of growing older & more weary

of carrying burdens too big.

I'm scared of those I love pulling away from those I love.

we're stretching at the seams

[what if soon one of us snaps off?]

Nights like tonight make me want to hold on to those good things I have.

Nights like tonight I pray for God to mend us fraying beings.

I teach theater on the weekends. The show that I'm doing now has a lot of newer kids, a lot of younger kids. At first I was kind of worried about it, that there wasn't necessarily as much experience. However, this is working out really well. It's good to see kids excited about theater again. A lot of the shows I've worked with, many of the kids have done theater for so long they take it for granted. But these younger or newer kids are excited about everything, not judgmental, ready to learn even if they are pretty rambunctious. Good to see, good to be a part of. At this point I'm not as worried about how the show turns out just because I know these kids are trying as hard as they can. I know later on I'll be stressing about what everything looks like, but for now it's just enough that we're all ready and excited to put it all together. They totally remind me of what it used to be like when I joined theater when I was 13. Everyone was a little awkward and new and excited.

Watching "Breakfast Club" for the first time. Wow, everyone is crazy.