one hundred. thirty four.

please take this moment to notice that i have changed my background.
this is the first time this has ever happened.
seeing as i am completely stupid when it comes to computers, html & all of that nonsense, this is a bold move for me.
thank you blogger, for just making me a little button i could push to change it.
i can't really compete with the people who have really lovely, creative pages, so this will have to do.

there is one guy who comes into the coffee shop & every time it's an interesting affair.
he's a real hippie guy.
one time he stopped in & cursed us for using sugar packets because of the waste we were accumulating.
another time he stopped in & told us he was using our old coffee bags to carry around his grains & vegetables.
another time he stopped in & filled us in on how he was going to go and live in a sustainable community & smoke a lot of weed.
he stopped in today. he brought his own mug, of course, to save the earth.
i noticed some milky liquid left in the bottom of his mug, so i figured i'd rinse it for him. also, we always fill mugs with hot water to warm the cup before we put in the coffee.
tragedy strikes.
the liquid in the bottom was actually his ORGANIC ALMOND MILK!!
logical situation: tell me as you're handing me the cup that you already put in your own cream. this is what people have said before. pretty simple.
actual situation: literally watch me pour the milk down the drain and then cry out in horror.
He settled for some soymilk.
He did make a stink about it though because our soymilk is not organic like his almond milk was. Therefore his cup of coffee was less "conscious."
Our drain, however, is pretty conscious now. drinking up some organic almond milk....

A man [double cup 2% latte guy] told me today that I looked older since the last time he saw me in the early summer.
This was nice to hear.
I never get told that. Instead I get asked what high school I go to.
Also was nice because I actually feel older.
In saying that, perhaps I betray my youth. It seems that older people always feel younger than they are, making them frustrated by their broken down bodies, while younger people feel "so old" but never really are.
But still.
I do feel oldish, somehow.
But that's also not good because in looking "older" or as he stated afterward "more mature," reveals something about my life at this point.
Before people thought I was younger because I apparently had some youthful appearance, a mixture of awkwardness, a certain amount of innocence and a measure of trust.
Things are different now. I feel different now. Is it so overdone to say that I feel like I've lost bits of that? I don't care if it is. It's the truth, though perhaps I'll back on this & roll my eyes.

"& if everything is measured by the hole it leaves behind
then this mountain has been leveled
& there's no more diamonds in the mine."

Goodness gracious, look at me.
go ahead, roll your eyes.
start me off I just will not quit.
Enough of this.
Do you know, I played the piano tonight & it was quite marvelous?